Poo bums, wind & cuddles

Every night when I am bleary eyed and feeding my newest & final arrival, Ashar, I groan when I glance at the clock through one squinted eye but I also love it.

No one enjoys being woken by a baby whose hunger wakening sounds are similar to that of a machine gun, but there's just something about these early few days & weeks that are just precious and so limited...

My husband says 'they're boring at this age' and he has stuck with that theory since our Aliya was born five years ago but for clucky ol mother hen me, this is it. The last time I can gaze at him for as long as I like, the last time the smell of soured milk on his collar will be attractive, the last time such helplessness and dependance on me will be something I like and find purposefullness in.

He is what people call a 'good baby'. Feeds well, lets me sleep, poos like a machine and is doing all the right things...

Last night I was particularly tired though because I haven't yet learnt how to go to bed early (before 11pm) or at a reasonable time. Even though he has his last feed and is in bed  by around 10.30pm, I am still up. Four kids later you would have thought that I would know to 'sleep when they sleep' as I tell all my friends with newborns, but somehow it is not as easy to listen to own advice. So eventually when he did wake me an hour and a half after I had gone to sleep, I was almost cursing. That is until his little hand reached for my giant finger and he managed to wrap those teeny fingers around my finger and just held on. Yes I know it's just a reflex & he doesn't really mean to reach out to hold mamma's hand but in my mind he was. And when he pooped just after I had cleaned him from his first pooey nappy, I know it was his little joke. And as for the smiles while he's dreaming or looking up at me, well, others call it wind, but I call it love - and no one can take that away from me.

Welcome to our lives Ashar Kian. I love you (and I will have to re-name the blog Mmmlicious4 in your honor...soon, promise)x